The other day, the house was quiet (a rare occurrence) when I thought I heard something. I meandered down the hall and looked in the boys’ room.
Boone sat in the middle of the floor, concentrating on his Legos as he quietly sang a Talking Heads song to himself.
"…sleeping on the interstate. Getting wild, wild life. Checkin’ in, checkin’ out. I got a wild, wild life…"
There’s some sort of syndrome-type thing that happens to me and my wife when the boys suddenly start behaving well. Like, we know they’re probably plotting something, but we don’t care because nobody’s yelling.
When I taught the boys how to throw and catch a frisbee, they got so excited as they improved that they spazzed out and then started flinging the disc erratically.
And yes, one of them hit me in the head.
Wyatt met a horse this weekend.
I like the character of Catwoman.
I like saying the word "interesting."
Chase is upstairs playing any number of video games and just texted me asking “when’s lunch”…whenever you are ready. #parenting #nerf #lunch
I’m totally ready to introduce Nerf weaponry into the boys’ life specifically for this purpose.
Time for another guest post. This one comes from Tumblr’s own improvisingfatherhood.
Improvising Fatherhood’s Patented Parenting Techniques!
By Nate Smith
(*All patents are pending)
Wow, I have been a father for almost five years now. That’s half a decade, or as I like to call it, one fifth of a quarter of a century! During my time as a dad, I have developed a few unique techniques to dealing with children.
Today I am going to share with you some of my best parenting tips and tricks.
- Can’t get your kids to eat their food? Wait until they are asleep and then feed it to them intravenously.
- Kids shouldn’t spend too much time watching TV. Mix it up by letting them watch their favorite shows on an iPad, iPhone, or other mobile devices.
- Be an actual helicopter parent. Your kids would love it if you flew them around everywhere in a real helicopter.
- Keep your kids from getting spoiled by making them sleep in a Ziploc bag in the refrigerator.
- Don’t feed your kids junk food. Give them name-brand candy only.
- Even though you know you’ve made a lot of mistakes in your life and are somewhat unhappy with how your life has turned out, make sure to force your kids to live their lives exactly like you.
- When your kids are asleep whisper positive affirmations to them like, “It’s amazing I’ve managed to keep you alive this long.”
- Remember, kids can smell fear…and farts…and they will call you out on that.
- Make sure to back up all your pictures of your kids. That’s going to be valuable blackmail material some day.
- Don’t let your kids use the word headcanon. Just don’t.
(photo by Lis Purdy)