The Daddy Complex

Showing 1132 posts tagged kids

I'm curious if you went thru a tough time when the boys were 3-4 yrs old? We have a 3.5 yr-old boy. A yr ago he was challenging but mostly sweet & fairly easily diverted from mayhem. In the past 5 months he's morphed into one of those purple minions from the 2nd Despicable Me movie. No volume control, endless energy, a tiny tornado of destruction always wrestling, play fighting & hell bent on getting what he wants. Will our sweet little dude ever come back? Have we lost him to the dark side?

Asked by tlogirl

Yes, we did. And again at 5-years-old. And 5½. And from conversations I’ve had with other parents, it basically goes on like this —periods of calm followed by periods of havoc—until the child leaves for college. And also after that.

Your kid is fine. All kids go through these stages. He’s figuring out how the world works and his place in it. Your sweet little dude will comes back, but he’ll have better cognitive and social skills for having battled you. 

High-res Wyatt gets out of bed every night after we say goodnight. Like, every night. Multiple times. This is normal, all kids do it. I know. But, last night it led to a revelation for him.
As I said goodnight, I urged Wyatt to stay in bed. I added that him repeatedly getting up to make unnecessary requests of us was one of the reasons we haven’t stacked their beds into bunk beds. (It’s not entirely true, but I thought I’d try it.)
A little while later, Wyatt came down and asked us if he could sleep in Boone’s bed. We have no problem with that and even told him before that he didn’t have to ask, that he can work that out with his brother. We noticed, however, that as he talked to us his demeanor changed and his breath caught in his throat a couple of times.
My wife asked, “Wyatt, are you trying not to cry?”
Wyatt said, “Yes, because Boone’s in the room crying right now.”
“Why is he crying?” I asked, assuming the answer would be because he was alone upstairs or something.
“Are we not going to stack the beds because I got out of bed?” Wyatt asked in reply.
We saw what was going on. He didn’t remember whether or not he was allowed to sleep in his brother’s bed, so he wanted to ask permission (and, yes, it was an excuse to get out of bed). But, Boone thought that meant we’d never stack the beds. And as Wyatt was talking to us, he realized what he’d done, how he’d upset his brother.
I went upstairs to calm Boone, told him we’d stack the beds when everyone was ready. Wyatt laid in bed next to him, still processing his realization.
They were both pretty tired, so I’m sure that contributed to the emotions he felt at the moment. But, I love that their love for each other means they shed genuine tears when the other is upset.

Wyatt gets out of bed every night after we say goodnight. Like, every night. Multiple times. This is normal, all kids do it. I know. But, last night it led to a revelation for him.

As I said goodnight, I urged Wyatt to stay in bed. I added that him repeatedly getting up to make unnecessary requests of us was one of the reasons we haven’t stacked their beds into bunk beds. (It’s not entirely true, but I thought I’d try it.)

A little while later, Wyatt came down and asked us if he could sleep in Boone’s bed. We have no problem with that and even told him before that he didn’t have to ask, that he can work that out with his brother. We noticed, however, that as he talked to us his demeanor changed and his breath caught in his throat a couple of times.

My wife asked, “Wyatt, are you trying not to cry?”

Wyatt said, “Yes, because Boone’s in the room crying right now.”

“Why is he crying?” I asked, assuming the answer would be because he was alone upstairs or something.

“Are we not going to stack the beds because I got out of bed?” Wyatt asked in reply.

We saw what was going on. He didn’t remember whether or not he was allowed to sleep in his brother’s bed, so he wanted to ask permission (and, yes, it was an excuse to get out of bed). But, Boone thought that meant we’d never stack the beds. And as Wyatt was talking to us, he realized what he’d done, how he’d upset his brother.

I went upstairs to calm Boone, told him we’d stack the beds when everyone was ready. Wyatt laid in bed next to him, still processing his realization.

They were both pretty tired, so I’m sure that contributed to the emotions he felt at the moment. But, I love that their love for each other means they shed genuine tears when the other is upset.