Haha. So true. It really only bothers me if they brag about it while giving me advice as if I haven’t tried every single thing I found online already. I’m fairly convinced good sleep has nothing to do with parenting skill and everything to do with the personality of said child.
Our boys are good sleepers and have been from a young age. But, we don’t mention it because, when we do, people want to slaughter us.
And yes, we had nothing to do with it.
Are you paying attention, J.J. Abrams?
This photo accompanies my Dr. Seuss story on Huffington Post.
(No matter how tired or angry or sad we get, we never skip book time at night.)
We braved SoCal’s rainpocalypse to attend a fundraising fair put on by our boys’ school. I’m glad we did because they had a blast. And, at a booth run by a local karate school, both boys got to demonstrate their superior ninja skills by punching a board in half. They are so badass, you guys.
I told my boys an evil agency had taken up residency in the living room. Sinister agents were everywhere. I needed them to sneak into the room to retrieve some spy tools the bad guys could use to wreak havoc on the good citizens of the city. These tools resembled sneakers, but they contained small jets that allow the wearer to fly.
Once they stealthily stole and donned the rocket shoes, they’d need to get the rest of their equipment—held in seemingly innocuous backpacks—and go undercover at a secret military installation to find a magic jewel. You see, when the sun hits the jewel just right, it reveals a map to a treasure the bad guys would use to buy all manner of weapons and vehicles to take over the world.
The best way to infiltrate this installation was to pose as regular students, since the base looked remarkably like the boys’ school. They’d need to maintain the ruse all day and act like stellar students to gain the trust of the officials at the base.
I asked them if they could handle the mission. They answered in the affirmative.
For the first time in weeks, we were on time for school.
"Be a dad. Don’t be ‘Mom’s assistant.’ That’s depressing, just waiting for her to write you a list, walk around a store staring at it, calling her from the cereal aisle to make sure you got the right thing. Be a man. Make your own list. Fathers have skills that they never use at home. You run a landscaping business and you can’t dress and feed a 4-year-old? Take it on. Spend time with your kids and have your own ideas about what they need. It won’t take away your manhood; it will give it to you. I did that. I spent more time with my kids. And I found out that I’m a pretty bad father. I make a lot of mistakes and I don’t know what I’m doing. But my kids love me. Go figure." —Louis C.K., comedian
I find it bewildering in this day and age that this still needs to be explained to some dudes.
I mean, don’t we all think Mad Men is kinda funny because of how wrong they did everything back then?
I hope the son sees this when he gets older
These kind of jokes are super funny until the kid repeats them in front of his teacher or, y’know, a cop.