The Daddy Complex

Showing 709 posts tagged child

When I see a bully on the playground and the parent won’t step in, I have no problem reprimanding that child. And I do it by quietly saying to them that I’ll teleport into their room when they’re asleep and fill their mouth with ravenous spiders. That way, when they run to tell their parents, the mom or dad won’t believe them. Because who would say that to a child, right?

I would.

New Dads Feel More Attractive After Birth Of Child

Once a baby is born, dads get smoking hot… in their own mind.

So claims a recent study published in the Journal of Gender Studies. While the scope of the study seems somewhat limited (182 participants, all newlyweds with no previous children), the findings are interesting. The study’s lead author, UCSB Professor Alicia Cast, was quoted by the Vancouver Sun:

I was talking about this paper with my husband and he commented on the attention he got when he was seen in public holding our son after he was born. Like, “Aren’t you a good dad,” “Look at that new dad with his baby.”

The study also offers this little nugget about what happened during the three interviews that took place over the course of the study:

Wives who had a child in their first year of marriage start out with less positive views of their attractiveness compared to wives who did not have a child between [the first and second interviews].

So, guys think they’re more attractive, women (at least the ones who had they babies early) feel less attractive. Interestingly, though, that confidence in men wears off after a year, probably because being puked on and shit on for 12 months tends to deflate your ego.

As I straddle him, I tell him wanting something does not mean you get it. Though a mature concept, I try to burn into his mind with repetition. I say it again and again, calm, steady. Yet even as he fights against me, I realize I sometimes want things so badly I’m moved to fits and tears, too. Maybe in those moments, I need someone to pin me down, to force my eyes to look into theirs while they calmly repeat, ‘Wanting does not equal getting, wanting does not equal getting, wanting does not equal getting.’

From my latest piece for Huffington Post, which some of you will remember as the story that inspired a self-professed family therapist to go after me a bit

I believe wholeheartedly, and without apology, that we have a collective responsibility to the children of our communities even if we did not conceive and bear them. Of course, parents can and should raise their children with their own values. But they should be able to do so in a community that provides safe places to play, quality food to eat, terrific schools to attend, and economic opportunities to support them. No individual household can do that alone. We have to build that world together.

Melissa Harris-Perry, Why caring for children is not just a parent’s job (via msnbc)

(via msnbc)

A lot of the men who write parenting blogs, they are like scruffy, bearded, beer-swilling guys. And dude after dude that I’ve met in this dad-blogging sphere, they completely get it. It was unexpected on my part, but they are thrilled to find somebody who understands their experiences as emoting, sensitive, caregiving people who didn’t give birth to the child.

Polly Pagenhart (aka Lesbian Dad) discussing the reinvention of “what it means to be a parent” and her connection to dad bloggers in the latest issue of The Advocate