Something to do with all those little toys your kid grows out of…glue to frame, spray paint, keep forever.
This is pretty awesome.
When I see a bully on the playground and the parent won’t step in, I have no problem reprimanding that child. And I do it by quietly saying to them that I’ll teleport into their room when they’re asleep and fill their mouth with ravenous spiders. That way, when they run to tell their parents, the mom or dad won’t believe them. Because who would say that to a child, right?
"There he is, Dad. That’s the kid who pushed me."
Once a baby is born, dads get smoking hot… in their own mind.
So claims a recent study published in the Journal of Gender Studies. While the scope of the study seems somewhat limited (182 participants, all newlyweds with no previous children), the findings are interesting. The study’s lead author, UCSB Professor Alicia Cast, was quoted by the Vancouver Sun:
I was talking about this paper with my husband and he commented on the attention he got when he was seen in public holding our son after he was born. Like, “Aren’t you a good dad,” “Look at that new dad with his baby.”
The study also offers this little nugget about what happened during the three interviews that took place over the course of the study:
Wives who had a child in their first year of marriage start out with less positive views of their attractiveness compared to wives who did not have a child between [the first and second interviews].
So, guys think they’re more attractive, women (at least the ones who had they babies early) feel less attractive. Interestingly, though, that confidence in men wears off after a year, probably because being puked on and shit on for 12 months tends to deflate your ego.
I love these kind of lists. And I genuinely hope they make a Mad Men spin-off that follows the exploits of a college-aged Sally Draper as she works through her mommy issues.
Boone, I'm going to hit you with my sword.
Guys, are you playing nice with each other?