Rude Awakening
- Wyatt: DUDE! HEY, OLD DUDE!
- Me: Shhhh. It’s 4 a.m. What is it?
- Wyatt: This ain’t working.
- Me: What?
- Wyatt: This. Tonight.
- Me: You were sleeping just fine.
- Wyatt: Well, now I’m pissed.
- Me: Is it your diaper?
- Wyatt: I don’t know. That’s your job. I could have a load in my shorts, I could be hungry, I could’ve had a nightmare. All I know is I’m awake, I’m tired and you’re getting all Sherlock Holmes when you should be "CSI: Miami." I HATE THIS! FIGURE IT OUT!
- Me: Keep it down. You’re going to wake your brother.
- Boone: Too late.
- Me: Damn it.
- Wyatt: You’ve got your hands full now.
- Me: No chance you’re going to drift peacefully back to sleep?
- Boone: About as much chance that I might also poop rainbows.
- Wyatt: Here’s the deal, Pop. You’ve got an incredibly small window to figure out what’s wrong before I ramp up and blow a return to slumberland.
- Boone: Ditto that.
- Me: You guys are stacking the deck here. Not only will the process of trying to figure out what’s wrong wake you up more, but I have to do it twice.
- Boone: Don’t care, dude.
- Wyatt: Not our problem... You know how, when I get really angry, I do that high-pitched shriek?
- Me: Yeah.
- Wyatt: Here it comes.
- Boone: That’s nothing. Even if you finally get him back to sleep, I’m planning on staying up until just before our normal wake-up time. Got anything good on the DVR?
- Me: I think I have some episodes of “Chuck.”
- Boone: That’ll work.

