According to a sleep deprivation study conducted by the University of Pennsylvania, after two weeks of getting only 6 hours of sleep per night (or less), you experience the cognitive equivalent of being legally drunk.
So, parents are basically drunkards.
"My best day had to be the day after I wrapped Guardians of the Galaxy. I was very homesick and coming home to my wife, and my home, and to my son, who was at the time 13 months old. My wife told me there’s a chance he won’t recognize you—but that’s okay that happens all the time. He doesn’t know, he might be a little shy…"
Chris Pratt is out to explode some ovaries this morning.
I know you’re freaking out.
You have this baby that needs you to survive. YOU. And you don’t know if you have the ability to help this little one grow into a functional human being. Though you’ve been through rough stuff before, you now have an actual life to care for—a delicate, innocent life. But, see, here’s the thing…
You can do it.
Not only can you do it, you will. You’ll kick ass at it. Like, major ass. You might not feel like it as it’s happening, but you will.
You’ll trust you instincts, you’ll reach out for help when you need it, you’ll take time for yourself every so often, you’ll forgive yourself for getting mad or depressed and you’ll allow yourself to celebrate your victories, no matter how insignificant they seem.
You are a parent. You are not perfect, but your baby doesn’t need perfect. Your baby needs you. Flaws, quirks and all.
And the one thing, the most important thing, you can offer that baby is love. You honestly don’t need to know anything else because your love will lead you to the answers you seek. It will be the divining rod that points the way as you help this baby—your baby—grow.
So, chin up. Trust yourself. You’ve got this, okay?
You’ve got this.
Leaning in so hard I’m falling over
Holy crap. This is so funny/sad.
Happy Monday, everyone.
"Though public opinion is against them, these parents have found support in Christ On A Crutch, the anti-genetic alignment group formed by the unlikely partnership of geneticists and Christian conservatives."
Guys, sometimes my HuffPost Parents pieces go way off the rails.
I need some clarification. She’s taking a stand against what exactly? Battle for Middle Earth over what? Just their personalities? Or are they, like doing something more egregious than just being assholes? Like are they telling you what to do or trying to steal the baby? Wait…
Oh, my God! Is your father-in-law the Goblin King? If so, tell him I think Hunky Dory is, like, one of the best albums ever.
Without knowing the specifics, I’ll offer these two pieces of advice, the first of which is my standard bit of wisdom:
- I barely know what I’m doing, so keep that in mind.
- If your in-laws are truly “toxic,” keep them from having anything to do with your child. Or monitor their interaction with him. Sure, an uncomfortable conversation lies in your near future, but your baby is more important than the resulting awkward silence during Thanksgiving dinner.
Does every father instantly bond with their baby?
Blast from the (prehistoric) past.
Anyway, he gives a shout-out to my CTFD “method.”
If you see a woman breastfeeding her baby in public and would like to approach her about doing it elsewhere, here are a couple of handy tips:
Because that’s your problem, not hers.
Okay I’m sorry but I don’t understand why it’s so difficult to just go to a restroom.
Would you eat in a public restroom?
If your answer is no, then why would you want a baby to do it?
If your answer is yes… ewww.