The Daddy Complex

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Why Dads Don't Take Paternity Leave - WSJ.com

deborahsiegel:

#sigh

Maybe it’s because I was a work-at-home-dad when my boys were born, but I don’t understand stuff like this. Though more and more companies offer paternity leave, recent data shows few new fathers take the full time. And even worse, employers see those dads that do take the allotted time off as caring less about their job. From the story:

“There’s still a stigma associated with men who put parenting on an equal footing with their jobs,” said Scott Coltrane, a sociologist at the University of Oregon. “Most employers still assume that work comes first for men, while women do all the child care.”

Fucking hell. Here’s what you do:

  • If you’re lucky enough to work for a company that offers paternity leave, take it. All of it.
  • If you think your employer will assume that means you care more about family than work, talk with your supervisor. Talk about your concerns and explain you do care about work, but this is an important time for you to be home.
  • If they don’t get it, spend a portion of your paternity leave looking for another job because your employer is a sack of donkey balls. (As you’re leaving to spend time with your newborn, maybe flip a desk or something. Y’know, be dramatic, so there’s no confusion.)
  • Enjoy your time with your family because, quite frankly, some things are more important than work.
  • Invest in a diverse portfolio of mutual funds. That doesn’t have anything to do with the subject of the article, it’s just good advice.

This video/image has been making the rounds online. It’s pretty adorable and reminds me of something that happened with our guys.

Right after they were born, the nurses took them to the nursery at the hospital. They were in separate bins (or whatever they’re called) and they were both crying pretty hard. The nurses were kinda shrugging it off because all newborns cry, right? I asked a nurse to put both boys in a single bin and, the minute that happened, they both stopped crying.