…is someone about to have their first child talking about how easy it is to be a parent.
People love to give advice to parents, even if it is misinformed parenting advice. Guest dad-blogger, David Vienna, offers defense for often given advice.
For anyone who may have missed it, I wrote a piece for how2beadad that encourages parents to act violently toward stupid assholes.
Haha. So true. It really only bothers me if they brag about it while giving me advice as if I haven’t tried every single thing I found online already. I’m fairly convinced good sleep has nothing to do with parenting skill and everything to do with the personality of said child.
Our boys are good sleepers and have been from a young age. But, we don’t mention it because, when we do, people want to slaughter us.
And yes, we had nothing to do with it.
I’m surprised to find one of my favorite baby names, Voltron, appears nowhere on this map.
I haven’t simultaneously laughed and nodded this much since I saw the last Tom Ford video.
This is the greatest thing EVER! Holy shit.
Bless me child for I have sinned. It’s been your lifetime since my last confession and I feel like I need to come clean. I have lied to you, stolen your property and coveted your dinner, as well as youth.
I am your father, but I haven’t always been a parent. I used to be just like you. I was an immature, unorganized mess of a human being skating on the edge of a downward spiral. But you made me. You made me a man who is responsible for another, and then three others.
There are four of you children and I confess that I am not always truthful about who I am and how I get by. There are things that I must do, discretion that I must make to get through my days as a parent. I will not share all my secrets, but I will shed some light on some of what you do not know.
So here are the first 25 confessions that come to mind.
- I had sex with your mother in your bedroom long before it was your bedroom, but the memory still lives there.
- I pop your balloons when you are at school.
- I throw away your drawings, but I have saved every birthday card you ever made for me.
- I am the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny. However, Santa Claus is real.
- Calliou has always been our go-to babysitter when Mom and Dad need some adult alone time. Because of that Calliou’s theme song kind of turns me on.
I spend most mornings chasing after a 2-year old and most evenings trying my best to manage scores of employees and hundreds of patrons in a busy bar/restaurant.
This is part 1 of my thoughts and observations I’ve made of the similarities between the two:
- A lot of slurred speech and unintelligible conversation.
- There are constantly girls crying and no one knows why.
- I’m constantly telling someone to not stand on the furniture.
- Everybody just wants a bottle.
- No one knows who made the mess (See below). To Be Continued…..
Holy crap, this is so accurate.
BTW, bigeasydad works at a bar in New Orleans, so he deals with this shit 24-7.