“Have you considered that the reason that you’re spending all this time worrying about another woman’s body and another woman’s family is that you’re youthful and have an excessive amount of energy? How’s your fitness level? Would you be less of a busybody if you maybe exercised more? Maybe you can take the energy that you’re wasting on an activity that will do nothing but annoy a stranger and channel it into something useful, like making macrame owls, selling them to hipsters, and donating the proceeds to hospitals that help children with birth defects, since you suddenly care about the health of strangers’ babies so very much.”
Are You Too Young To Tell Women They’re Too Old To Be Mothers? (via tballardbrown)
Hmm…
(via tballardbrown)
Every time I reblog a comic about parenting, someone gets bent out of shape about it. If you’re planning on being one of those people, calm down. It’s funny.
(via browneyedenvy)
(via transylvanianhungergames)
Twins are awesome, but if you replace that crying guy with a guy shitting his pants, that’s more accurate.
You may remember I wrote (as did every other blogger in the world) about JCPenney selling a shirt — in girls’ sizes 7-16 — on its website that said, “I’m too pretty to do homework…” (What was the reaction? A clue. It wasn’t super positive.) They pulled that shirt and apologized, but this shirt (pictured) is still on their website. In similar news, Forever21 was selling an “Allergic to Algebra” shirt, but it’s been pulled too. However, last night, I just bought a shirt on their site that says, “School is Fun” on the front….”When It’s Done” on the back. I might be planning to wear it. I might not. That’s for me to decide. (I wanted to see if the shirt was still actually available for purchase.)
Here’s the part where I ask you a question:
Would any of you have daughters interested in talking to me about the shirts? I would 1) call you 2) you would be on the phone as well 3) I would use first names only or even a made-up name if you prefer 4) it would be brief 5) I would keep my cussing to a minimum.
Or, if you have strong feelings about the shirt and want to talk, great. In fact, if you think the shirts are “darling,” that would be awesome. I would REALLY want to talk to you. (I’m guessing there aren’t a lot of you but who knows?)
Finally, if any of you know anything about retail and merchandise selection or know someone who would, I’d love to chat too. Basically, I’m open to talking to everyone today (and today only).
P.S. If you’re on Tumblr, and think any of your readers want to do this, would you mind re-blogging? Thanks in advance.
THIS. Is why I taught gender studies. THIS shit is bullshit. If you have kids this age who could answer her questions, do it.
Anyone interested in voicing their opinion on this to Mammalingo? If so, don’t hesitate. She’s awesome and it’s an important topic.
And on a side note, I love thesahmmy’s “THIS shit is bullshit” line. I picture her in a field pointing at patties and going “THIS shit is bullshit. THIS shit is horseshit. THIS shit might be from a pigeon or perhaps a quail.”
Red In The Face
For those who just had a baby or are expecting, I though I’d start reposting some of my stuff from when the boys were newborns and I was a work-at-home dad. Here’s one from December of ‘09. As with all my posts, I’m not offering these as advice, but rather as a chronicle of my blundering as a parent. In fact, if there’s any advice to be taken — especially from these old posts — it’s “You should probably do the opposite of what I did.”
When the babies were super young and still had that new baby smell, we had a changing station set up in our bedroom because they slept in a little bassinet in there with us for the first few months. One time, as we were preparing to put them down, Boone started crying. Fighting through a haze of sleep deprivation, I leapt into action.
I knew this probably meant his diaper needed changing, so I got the diaper off, but quickly realized we didn’t have any clean diapers in the room. Boone started freaking out. My wife said, “Honey, you should—“
“I got this,” I interrupted. “I need a clean diaper and some wipes. Stat!” Boone’s cries became screams. I glanced to my mother-in-law, who was helping us settle in with our new babies. “I need a rattle, a toy, anything. Some thing to distract him.”
Again, my wife said, “Honey—”
I cut her off again. “Let’s move people! This is a team effort.” Boone’s screams rattled the walls.
My wife shouted, “Honey!” I looked at Boone. I was unknowingly dangling him upside down by his legs, his face was beet red with anger. And probably blood that had rushed there. I was swinging him around like a priest handles a censer.
My solution had become the problem. And it’s been that way ever since.
It just happened. I got asked the “good baby” question. I was at the grocery store and a sweet, dear older woman behind me asked me if my son was a “good baby.” I feel like this is the most standard question for moms with infants, and I need a new answer… something other than, “Oh yes!” I think next time I might try this:
“Is he a good baby?”
“No. He’s sort of an asshole.”
In the original post, Melissa of Mammalingo spelled that last word with symbols like in a comic strip. I changed it because, seriously, why should I start being polite this late in the game?
