@sippymccloy asked via Twitter:
What should I ask during a nanny interview? What questions can I forego since they are presumably professionals?
Great question. We had a nanny help me while I was a work-at-home dad and she still is our go-to babysitter. The boys love her and she’s definitely a part of our family. When we were interviewing (and we interviewed a bunch of people), here’s what we were concerned about and why:
- References - to make sure what we were being told was true
- CPR certification - this one’s obvious
- Discipline techniques - the best answer is “Whatever techniques you prefer,” but really we just want to make sure it wasn’t “Knives” or something
- Stress management - raising kids, even in a part-time capacity, is incredibly stressful, so we wanted to make sure it didn’t build up
- Transportation - our main concern here was that our nanny had a reliable way to get to work but, if you want the nanny to run errands, you need to work out the car seat situation
- Credit check - this is important for a number of reasons, but the main one is this: if the credit check revealed huge debt, we knew they would either continually ask for raises or always be on the lookout for a better paying gig
- Criminal records check - this one’s obvious, too
- Rate of pay - we firmly believe you get what you pay for and childcare is not where you want to skimp, but we also asked how she prefers to be paid because taxes are also an issue
- What that pay includes - we couldn’t assume the rate included things like laundry, cooking and cleaning, so we made sure to get clear answers and know where the line was
- Legal status - I kinda hate that it’s an issue, but it’s an issue, especially in California
- Kidnapping plans - also, kinda obvious
I would also suggest not forgoing any questions, even if you’re interviewing a professional. It’s your kid and you should be thorough, so no question is unnecessary.
Not to toot my own country's horn, but have you seen the Wall Street Journal story "Why French Parents Are Superior?" The bit about children regulating their own emotions in that obesity article made me think about it.
Asked by rascouet
I did see that article. I was actually trying to think of a good way to cover that topic. On the flip-side, I just read a post from lazydad who’s angry the media is lumping all Chinese dads in with that one “Eagle Dad” guy who made his kid stand in the snow in his underwear.
My best friend growing up was half Australian. His dad let him have the occasional beer at a very young age. He said down under, drinking beer just wasn’t that big of a deal. But, that’s a cultural thing, not a race thing.
I think the problem lazydad highlights is the media’s fallacy that race rather than culture is the main factor. And even then, it shouldn’t be assumed that one asshole represents an entire culture. I mean… can’t we all just get along?
(That said, I think we can all aspire to be a bit more French.)
What kidnapping measure have you taken?
Asked by kotabearsdad
What advantages do you think you get by raising your kids in California compared to another state?
Asked by Anonymous
They went to a friend’s birthday party where the birthday girl’s uncle, Tony Shalhoub, was in attendance. Also, California is the only state in the country in which you can surf and ski on the same day.
Other than that, it’s pretty much all downside.
UPDATE: descantforhope says you can surf and ski in the same day in Oregon, too. So, just the Tony Shalhoub thing, I guess.
UPDATE 2: Well, cocoageek says you can do that on the big island in Hawaii as well. Why am I here again?
I'm curious on your opinion on parents/children with leashes. Yes, I thought of asking you after reading @for--delilah reblog on this subject. Are you for or against them? Of the mindset of right place and right time for anything in life? Personally, I'm completely against them. I won't stop someone I see, but I will judge them. I understand some kids want to run off, but that's where discipline comes in, in my opinion.
Asked by Anonymous
I saw that reblog, too. When it comes to leashes, we don’t use them, but not because we frown on them.
We’re lucky that our boys listen to us most of the time. And I say “most of the time” because there have been a handful of occasions when they decided to bolt and one of us needed to sprint after them. A few of those moments literally ended in a flying tackle to save them from the swing/car/elephant stampede that nearly splattered them. Those times, a leash would’ve been nice. Hell, I’m still toying with the idea of binding up Wyatt like Hannibal Lecter and wheeling him around on a dolly.
Other parents might not be in the same situation, however. Their child may have a developmental disability or ADHD or some other problem that makes discipline futile. Even if the parent is just having trouble or outright lazy, I’d rather those kids be leashed than become a Jackson Pollock painting on middle lane of 5th Ave.
As disciplined as any child is, none of them listen or behave 100 percent of the time. The parents who use leashes are just stacking the deck in their favor. Every parent should use the tools and techniques that work work for them. And let me counter with this: When we’re near a busy street or in a crowded place, we insist the boys hold our hand. I imagine you do the same. That’s just another type of leash.
One more thing. If I were you, I wouldn’t volunteer that I judge people. It’s not an admirable quality. In fact, it’s the root of every conflict and irrational hatred on earth. And at the very least, it’ll make others not want to hang out with you. So, maybe keep that practice to yourself or, better yet, stop doing it.
I went back 44 pages and can't find where you said why you aren't posting pictures of your kids faces anymore. Can you catch me up? I've followed your blog since the boys was one and i love reading about them growing up!
Asked by Anonymous
It was a little while ago. Another Tumblr mom had a scare when she found someone using pictures of her kid to create a fake Facebook profile. I’d been mulling over removing images of my boys before then, but that sealed the deal. I now only publish images of the boys in which their faces are obscured or they’re with another adult (a parent or grandparent). Or, apparently, when they’re a good distance from the camera on a pony.
When Your twins were babies, how did they play with each other, that is if they did? Did they ever hurt themselves, bumped their heads? Im talking about different stages. 6 months. 12 months. 18 months. Thanks!
Asked by somepage
Twins typically don’t acknowledge each other as separate entities until around the 5th or 6th month. The way it was described to us was, until that point in their development, twins look at their sibling the same way they look at their own arm or leg, just another part of themselves.
After that they would kinda just look at each other wide-eyed, like, “Holy shit! Where’d you come from? And can you tell me what this is in my diaper?” From then on it was just awkward interactions much like me at my junior high school dances. For a good example, check out this video from when they were wee of Boone reaching for a toy and cracking up Wyatt.
And rather than go through their vast catalog of injuries at six month intervals, I’ll just say, yes, they hurt themselves. Babies tumble. Add to that the fact that, as they became more mobile, we discovered Wyatt really has no lower gear. So, for a while we had many collisions until Boone leaned to dodge and weave.
