The Daddy Complex

nannyhannah replied to your post: @sippymccloy asked via Twitter: What should I… As a nanny, I...

Wed, 15 Feb 2012 14:45:05 -0800

nannyhannah replied to your post: @sippymccloy asked via Twitter: What should I…

As a nanny, I would also suggest setting up a trial period. You need to make sure the fit is right- for you, your child & also for the nanny :)

Great advice. Much better than my suggested method which involved a collection of photos, a dartboard and a blindfold.

Come Back Later, Cupid

Wed, 15 Feb 2012 13:00:00 -0800

The boys did not care that yesterday was Valentine’s Day. At all. Staggering was the sheer multitude of the fucks they did not give.

Though we jettisoned their afternoon nap, the boys still take one at school if they’re tired. Yesterday was an active day and they were wiped out, but they didn’t nap. Then, they had swim lessons after school. That equated to Wyatt whining and crying for 30 minutes straight that he wanted cookies for dinner. And Boone leaping into whining jags for the strangest of offenses.

So, rather than have a nice romantic evening with my wife after the boys went to bed, we both were so exhausted we just ate the chocolates I got her and watched The Daily Show.

@sippymccloy asked via Twitter: What should I ask during a nanny interview? What questions can I...

Wed, 15 Feb 2012 11:30:00 -0800

@sippymccloy asked via Twitter:

What should I ask during a nanny interview? What questions can I forego since they are presumably professionals?

Great question. We had a nanny help me while I was a work-at-home dad and she still is our go-to babysitter. The boys love her and she’s definitely a part of our family. When we were interviewing (and we interviewed a bunch of people), here’s what we were concerned about and why:

References - to make sure what we were being told was true
CPR certification - this one’s obvious
Discipline techniques - the best answer is “Whatever techniques you prefer,” but really we just want to make sure it wasn’t “Knives” or something
Stress management - raising kids, even in a part-time capacity, is incredibly stressful, so we wanted to make sure it didn’t build up
Transportation - our main concern here was that our nanny had a reliable way to get to work but, if you want the nanny to run errands, you need to work out the car seat situation
Credit check - this is important for a number of reasons, but the main one is this: if the credit check revealed huge debt, we knew they would either continually ask for raises or always be on the lookout for a better paying gig
Criminal records check - this one’s obvious, too
Rate of pay - we firmly believe you get what you pay for and childcare is not where you want to skimp, but we also asked how she prefers to be paid because taxes are also an issue
What that pay includes - we couldn’t assume the rate included things like laundry, cooking and cleaning, so we made sure to get clear answers and know where the line was
Legal status - I kinda hate that it’s an issue, but it’s an issue, especially in California
Kidnapping plans - also, kinda obvious

I would also suggest not forgoing any questions, even if you’re interviewing a professional. It’s your kid and you should be thorough, so no question is unnecessary.

newyorker: The Secret to French Parenting “Bringing Up Bébé”...

Wed, 15 Feb 2012 10:00:05 -0800

newyorker:

The Secret to French Parenting

“Bringing Up Bébé” could have offered a complementary view of the link between public policy and social norms. But instead Druckerman largely trails off, providing a series of loose observations that fall somewhere between snarky (“Moms do get a bit fatter as you get farther from central Paris”) and Martha Stewart-y (“We have a collection of colorful melamine plates. But for dinner I use white, which makes the colors of the food pop”). That’s too bad, as the spirited reception for a book like “Bébé” attests to a wish for guidance on behalf of American mothers, and the real need for change in how America handles issues like maternity leave, daycare, and public education. The lack of support for mothers in American society, Warner discerns, engenders an entrenched sense of anxiety and that often leads to “hyper parenting.” Without a cadre, or frame, for childhood, many American mothers feel like they are flying blind and solo—resulting in a kind of perfectionist despair. Fatigued, American parents look overseas for the solution, but just may discover that no amount of French or Chinese will sufficiently change anything.

- On our Book Bench blog, Ruth Margalit writes about the latest book to claim child-rearing superiority: “Bringing Up Bébé”: http://nyr.kr/yKfw5P

Holy crap. I love this.

(Hey, rascouet. Any thoughts on this as someone intimate with both France and ‘Murica? Is this a valid assessment?)

mamato2boys: How can you tell who is pregnant on Valentine’s Day? She is the one crying over her...

Tue, 14 Feb 2012 15:45:06 -0800

mamato2boys:

How can you tell who is pregnant on Valentine’s Day?

She is the one crying over her dinner when her filet comes out well-done instead of med-rare.

According to her tags, this really happened. Like just now. I would say this is hysterical, but I don’t want to further upset her.

Every parent thinks their kid is a genius. Most days, I don’t just think my boys are...

Tue, 14 Feb 2012 13:00:05 -0800

Every parent thinks their kid is a genius. Most days, I don’t just think my boys are incredibly intelligent, I know it.

Then, Boone purposefully dumps an entire container of yogurt on his head for no good reason and I question my assessment.

This lady. This lady gave me two amazing boys, two boys that are...

Tue, 14 Feb 2012 11:30:00 -0800

This lady.

This lady gave me two amazing boys, two boys that are the best of both of us (and by that I mean mostly her). She makes me a better man and a better father. And she cheats at pool like a boss.

Happy Valentine’s Day, Larissa. I love you more than all the blades of grass.

When Push Comes To Shove

Tue, 14 Feb 2012 10:00:00 -0800

We took the boys to the playground on Sunday to meet up with some of their friends (and their parents, of course). With full attendance, we were four boys and four parents. The kids were going ape-shit, rambunctiousness in full effect. At one point, they all charged past a little girl (she was maybe two) and her mother at the top of a slide. One of the boys pushed her out of the way and the mother started barking at them.

Okay. I don’t mind another parent telling my guys to simmer down, especially in a top-of-the-slide scenario. Another dad and I saw this happening and came over to calm the boys down. Before we could stop them, however, Boone shoved the girl a little.

He was excited, but he was wrong. The mother said he punched the girl and, not wanting to split hairs on the definition of a punch vs. a shove, I made Boone go apologize to the girl and her parents. Teachable moment. Lesson learned. We now return you to our regularly scheduled pandemonium.

Except the mother of the girl spent the rest of her time at the park glaring — and I mean glaring — at my wife. (And don’t get me started on why the woman was glaring at my wife and not me.) The other father also overheard her telling her older daughter, who looked to be about 4-years-old, to “stay away from those boys, those are bad boys.” Of course, the girl immediately came over and hung out with the boys because, even at 4, she’s ready to piss off and disappoint her parents with her choice of men.

The family eventually left and we all thought it was kind-of hysterical. I understand that it sucks that her kid got thumped for no good reason, but if that mother thinks that sort of thing will never happen again, she’s going to have a very miserable life. It’s a playground. Kids get rowdy, they roughhouse, scrapes and bruises happen. Hell, if one of our kids doesn’t leave the park with some sort of injury, it means we had a shitty time.

anniewerner: My parents taught me that when you’re in a relationship, you honor it every single day...

Tue, 14 Feb 2012 09:35:37 -0800

anniewerner:

My parents taught me that when you’re in a relationship, you honor it every single day by the way you treat each other and respect one another. So wish your lover a happy Tuesday and tell them you love them every chance you get.

Amen, sister.

whenrobotsreproduce: “It’s not baby-sitting when Daddy does it. Who wouldn’t agree with that? The...

Mon, 13 Feb 2012 16:15:00 -0800

whenrobotsreproduce:

“It’s not baby-sitting when Daddy does it. Who wouldn’t agree with that? The U.S. Census Bureau, apparently. When both parents are present in the household, the Census Bureau assumes for the purposes of its ‘Who’s Minding the Kids?’ report, that the mother is the ‘designated parent.’ And when the designated parent is working or at school, the bureau would like to know who’s providing child care. If the answer is Daddy, as it was 26 percent of the time when these numbers were last released, in 2005, and 32 percent of the time in 2010, the Census Bureau calls that ‘care.’ But if Mom is caring for a child while Dad’s at work, that’s not a ‘child care arrangement,’ but something else. Parenting, presumably.”

—The Census Bureau Counts Fathers as ‘Child Care’ - NYTimes.com

Excuse me?

I try to not be bothered by stuff like this, but c’mon. Allow me to offer this measured and respectful rebuttal…

Dear U.S. Census Bureau:

Fuck you.

Sincerely,
David Vienna, Dad

Dread Pirate Roberts Meets Annie Wilkes

Mon, 13 Feb 2012 11:30:06 -0800

electradaddy:

So, DynaPapa, the twins, & I are loading up the RV & taking a road trip to San Luis Obispo just so we can see the musical/play that TheDaddyComplex wrote. CollegeDaughter is driving up from UCSD to babysit the twins while we’re at the show.

The San Luis Obispo gossip columns are all abuzz that TheDaddyComplex himself will be in attendance on the same night that I’ll be there. So, provided his security staff lets his fans get close enough, I may get to meet him. (I’ve never met a celebrity before, although I did meet Crystal Gayle’s husband once. Does that count?) Anyway, I’m guessing TheDaddyComplex is either the Dread Pirate Roberts or the fella who kept saying, “My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die!” I’ll let you know.

You reckon he’s gonna be surprised to learn that my real name is Annie Wilkes & that I’m his “number one fan”? For his sake, let’s just hope he doesn’t kill off any of the characters in his play, especially if I like one of them. Click here for the cockadoodie car. OMG. The funniest scene of the entire movie. The look on his face is PRICELESS.

Every time I meet someone I know from the Internet in real life, my nervous system has a reaction akin to when the Ghostbusters crossed the streams. It stems from the fact that I’m socially disabled. People expect me to be like John Davidson and are often disappointed to discover that I’m actually like Jo-Jo the Idiot Circus Boy.

Still, I’m very much looking forward to meeting ElectraDaddy and DynaPapa. And just so there are no injuries, I’ll wear my helmet.

GPOY: Monday Edition (via intellectualthicket)

Mon, 13 Feb 2012 10:00:05 -0800

GPOY: Monday Edition

(via intellectualthicket)

Dear British readers: My wife and I were just pretending to be British and I said, “Shove it...

Sun, 12 Feb 2012 22:27:45 -0800

Dear British readers:

My wife and I were just pretending to be British and I said, “Shove it up your bonker.” Is that a thing over there?

punkdad: For those that don’t know me so well and have seen the talk of the town. I adore love...

Sun, 12 Feb 2012 14:44:01 -0800

punkdad:

For those that don’t know me so well and have seen the talk of the town. I adore love stories, I love ryan gosling, i’m in love with nicholas sparks movies and books, I cry to the notebook, extreme home makeover, and st judes commercials. I like long walks on the beach, and taylor swift. I kiss my little boy everyday and teach him there is no such thing as “acting like a man” or “manning up” Hey fellas, get with the program and stop pretending.

Truth, people. Truth.

Workin’ at the playground. The boys tore it up with some...

Sun, 12 Feb 2012 12:56:56 -0800

Workin’ at the playground.

The boys tore it up with some friends this morning. And they drove one family from the park.

New Look At The Daddy Complex

Sun, 12 Feb 2012 10:00:06 -0800

New Look At The Daddy Complex:

I’ve had the same theme at The Daddy Complex since I started it nearly three years ago. I figured it was time to try a new look. One major benefit is individual posts now feature share/tweet/+1 options, so… y’know… feel free to share/tweet/+1.

I’m still tweaking it but, if you haven’t visited the actual site in a while, pop by and check it out.

Or don’t. I don’t care.

When It Rains...

Sat, 11 Feb 2012 15:28:00 -0800

davidvienna:

So, my play premieres next weekend and I just found out the movie I wrote was accepted in the San Luis Obispo Film Festival.

Yay!… I hope I’m not using up all my good luck for the year.

This is relevant to my parenting blog because the film is about our struggle with infertility.

(I feel kinda funny posting this right after asking everyone to spread the word about my puppet show.)

The boys weren’t listening to us at bedtime last night, so...

Sat, 11 Feb 2012 15:00:06 -0800

The boys weren’t listening to us at bedtime last night, so I roped them in by taking art requests. (This table is in their room.) Here’s who requested what…

Me: gorilla
Boone: lion (Wyatt kept shaking the table, so not my best lion. He looks more like a member of Spinal Tap.)
Wyatt: giraffe
Larissa: bird

Afterward, we all named our animals.

Hey, Everybody...

Sat, 11 Feb 2012 14:39:00 -0800

Can you help me out with something?

I thought a puppet show about raising babies would take off, but the build has been pretty slow. (I’m sure our hiatus didn’t help either.)

I really want to get Fighting With Babies out to more people. If you don’t mind, please share either the latest episode or the main YouTube channel with your Facebook friends, Twitter and Tumblr followers, your blog readers, your AA sponsor — anyone you think might dig it.

Thanks a heap, everyone. You are super-awesome.

And I mean that.

Actual Conversation On The Way Home From The Market

Sat, 11 Feb 2012 13:59:38 -0800

Me: Hey, guys. Tell Mama the song you insisted I sing to you last night.
Boone: No.
Wife: What was the song?
Me: "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Poo."