I know many people want to stay current with the latest parenting trends—attachment parenting, minimalist parenting, Tiger Mother parenting, et al. Well, I’ve stumbled upon a new technique that will guarantee your child grows up to be an exemplary student and citizen. It’s called CTFD, which stands for “Calm The Fuck Down.” And that’s not a message to give your kids. It’s for you.
Using CTFD assures you that — whichever way you choose to parent — your child will be fine (as long as you don’t abuse them, of course). To see it in action, here are some sample parenting scenarios and how CTFD can be employed:
- Worried your friend’s child has mastered the alphabet quicker than your child? Calm the fuck down.
- Scared you’re not imparting the wisdom your child will need to survive in school and beyond? Calm the fuck down.
- Concerned that you’re not the type of parent you thought you’d be? Calm the fuck down.
- Upset that your child doesn’t show interest in certain areas of learning? Calm the fuck down.
- Stressed that your child exhibits behavior in public you find embarrassing? Calm the fuck down.
Yes, using the CTFD method, you’ll find the pressure lifted and realize your child loves you no matter what, even if they’ve yet to master the alphabet. You’ll also learn that whether or not you’re the best parent in the world, as long as you love your child, they’ll think you are and that’s what matters. Plus, CTFD makes you immune to those that prey upon the fears of new parents, like pseudoscientists and parenting authors.
To use CTFD, just follow these simple steps:
- Calm the fuck down.
- There is no second step.
So, ignore all those other parenting trends and stick to CTFD. You’ll be glad you did and so will your kid.
Recent commentsBlog comments powered by Disqus
- themoparadise likes this
- faux-ma likes this
- kathleenelder reblogged this from thedaddycomplex and added:
- suzjeffs reblogged this from thedaddycomplex
- parasiticrelationship likes this
- cocotech likes this
- katiej2 reblogged this from thedaddycomplex
- katiej2 likes this
- lametisse likes this
- martinaspixels likes this
- marcusthetoken likes this
- pathwaystp likes this
- britnystarr reblogged this from thedaddycomplex
- icimementomori likes this
- camilearaujo reblogged this from thedaddycomplex
- camilearaujo likes this
- ohyounakeehuh reblogged this from thedaddycomplex
- drunkonvinyl reblogged this from thedaddycomplex
- drunkonvinyl likes this
- mewlingmammet likes this
- lepus reblogged this from thedaddycomplex
- pixelcloud likes this
- godshonest reblogged this from thedaddycomplex
- embodiedbymusic reblogged this from thedaddycomplex
- oguskyceramics likes this
- eekwgermany likes this
- missionworkingmama likes this
- cupcakeunicornprincess likes this
- kristalrose likes this
- gemdeluxe likes this
- kkkkai likes this
- ciscosavill reblogged this from thedaddycomplex
- manicla likes this
- explodingdog likes this
- neverlearnfromyourmistakes reblogged this from thedaddycomplex
- mommiesandme reblogged this from thedaddycomplex
- mommiesandme likes this
- starbudds likes this
- clemsmama likes this
- pottsvillain likes this
- expulsionsofgreymatter likes this
- songofsunset likes this
- emersonsj reblogged this from verycunninglinguist
- emersonsj likes this
- sonofahurricane reblogged this from verycunninglinguist and added:
- verycunninglinguist reblogged this from thedaddycomplex and added:
- retoxx likes this
- lightingiseverything reblogged this from thedaddycomplex