The Daddy Complex

Latest Parenting Trend: The CTFD Method

I know many people want to stay current with the latest parenting trends—attachment parenting, minimalist parenting, Tiger Mother parenting, et al. Well, I’ve stumbled upon a new technique that will guarantee your child grows up to be an exemplary student and citizen. It’s called CTFD, which stands for “Calm The Fuck Down.” And that’s not a message to give your kids. It’s for you.

Using CTFD assures you that — whichever way you choose to parent — your child will be fine (as long as you don’t abuse them, of course). To see it in action, here are some sample parenting scenarios and how CTFD can be employed: 

  • Worried your friend’s child has mastered the alphabet quicker than your child? Calm the fuck down.
  • Scared you’re not imparting the wisdom your child will need to survive in school and beyond? Calm the fuck down.
  • Concerned that you’re not the type of parent you thought you’d be? Calm the fuck down.
  • Upset that your child doesn’t show interest in certain areas of learning? Calm the fuck down.
  • Stressed that your child exhibits behavior in public you find embarrassing? Calm the fuck down.

Yes, using the CTFD method, you’ll find the pressure lifted and realize your child loves you no matter what, even if they’ve yet to master the alphabet. You’ll also learn that whether or not you’re the best parent in the world, as long as you love your child, they’ll think you are and that’s what matters. Plus, CTFD makes you immune to those that prey upon the fears of new parents, like pseudoscientists and parenting authors.

To use CTFD, just follow these simple steps:

  1. Calm the fuck down.
  2. There is no second step.

So, ignore all those other parenting trends and stick to CTFD. You’ll be glad you did and so will your kid.


Recent comments

Blog comments powered by Disqus

Notes

  1. countesspenguin reblogged this from thedaddycomplex and added:
    malicemcgee
  2. themotheroftucker reblogged this from thedaddycomplex
  3. gemmaisagem reblogged this from thedaddycomplex and added:
    Bahahahahaha
  4. miniaturebee reblogged this from thedaddycomplex and added:
    Gold.
  5. handsomeguy0975 reblogged this from thedaddycomplex and added:
    Love this one!! I really need to learn how to do this..for real..lol
  6. mmjgwrites reblogged this from thedaddycomplex
  7. thisiswhyri reblogged this from thedaddycomplex
  8. shitthatneedstobeseen reblogged this from timmytm
  9. timmytm reblogged this from thedaddycomplex
  10. hornjohnhorn reblogged this from thedaddycomplex
  11. sebhoagie reblogged this from thedaddycomplex and added:
    "Calm The Fuck Down" parenting. I’m really lucky to have a wife who naturally follow this approach. (*) (*) of course,...
  12. im-hopelesslyinlove reblogged this from thedaddycomplex
  13. kathleenelder reblogged this from thedaddycomplex and added:
    I love this!
  14. suzjeffs reblogged this from thedaddycomplex
  15. katiej2 reblogged this from thedaddycomplex
  16. britnystarr reblogged this from thedaddycomplex
  17. camilearaujo reblogged this from thedaddycomplex