Wyatt:
What were you doing just now?

Me:
Talking to a buddy of mine on the phone.

Boone:
Oh, that’s a phone. Okay. We thought you were talking to yourself.

Wyatt:
Yeah. I was ready to call the guys with the butterfly nets.

Me:
You have to use a phone to do that.

Wyatt:
Touché.

Boone:
What did your friend want?

Me:
He was inviting your mother and me over for dinner.

Boone:
Awesome! We got the place to ourselves, Wyatt. Let’s order some pizza.

Wyatt:
And we can finally finish watching “Hostel 2.”

Me:
We’re not going... Wait. What?

Boone:
Why aren’t you going?

Me:
Because we can’t just head out at the drop of a hat.

Wyatt:
Sure, you can.

Me:
Even if we had a regular sitter, I can’t order him or her over without any notice.

Wyatt:
We can handle ourselves, old man.

Me:
No, you guys need constant supervision. Someone has to have eyes on you at all times.

Boone:
Dude, we’re babies, not terrorists.

Me:
It’s just frustrating because people without kids don’t realize we have to plan this kind of thing in advance. We can’t be as spontaneous... Why are you rubbing your fingers together?

Wyatt:
It’s the world’s smallest violin playing for you. And I’m a baby, so it’s really, really small—

Me:
I get it.

Wyatt:
Because I have little baby hands.

Me:
I know.

Boone:
I think the problem is twofold. First, from what we’ve seen, people without kids never really comprehend what it’s like to have them. So, they can’t be faulted for not understanding how challenging even something as simple as dinner out can be.

Me:
Right...

Boone:
Second, you haven’t set up a support system to help you. No babysitter, no neighbors on which you can call, no friends to come over and give you a break. That is not the fault of your childless friends either.

Wyatt:
Preach it, bro.

Boone:
So, really, you’re the reason you can’t be spontaneous. You're the reason you can't go out to dinner with your friend tonight.

Me:
Well, when you say it like that it sounds so harsh.

Wyatt:
The truth hurts, dude. The truth hurts.