Hey, guys. I’ve got some really, really awesome news. Remember how my boys and my wife all had a cold? Well, I caught it!.. Wait. Did I say “awesome?” I meant “It sucks a bag of Tarbagan Marmot crap.”

If you remember, this is the second cold we’ve suffered through in about a month. Maybe a little over a month. I’m not sure because during the last cold I got so delirious I lost track of time. And I’m not entirely sure, but I think I also birthed one of those alien worm things from Dreamcatcher.

The irony is, rather than all of us weathering the bug at the same time, everyone else is on the tail end of it. In fact, the boys have been in chipper moods for the past two days and last night my wife had her first night of good sleep in a long time. I, however, woke up with a throat so sore, I feel like I tried to deep throat a rotary hammer drill.

Last time, I tried to fight it off with rest and vitamins. This time, I’m going all Tango & Cash on it. I’m headed to the drug store to get any and all medicines/rubs/weaponry that I can use to pistol-whip this thing into submission while also delivering quippy one-liners. Take that, biology!