Shit They Don't Tell You About Fatherhood: 1950s Housewife Syndrome

Shit They Don’t Tell You About Fatherhood: 1950s Housewife Syndrome

In this forum, I’ve oft referred to the “1950s Housewife Syndrome.” Contrary to what you might think, that is not another parenting blog… But, just in case, COPYRIGHT! Ha! I smell a spin-off.

No, the 1950s Housewife Syndrome encapsulates all the ethereal stresses and mental breakdowns that naturally come with the role of stay-at-home parent, which is compounded by the fact that ethereal stresses and mental breakdowns are so hard to describe. So, those 1950s housewives had trouble explaining what exactly was stressing them out and, because of that, their husbands thought it wasn’t really true. This, of course, added further frustration and I don’t know why I’m writing in the past tense because it’s me, okay? I’m talking about me.

Actually, my wife is incredibly sympathetic, but those stresses are real for all stay-at-home parents. And they will continue until we perfect a parenting robot and, even then, it’ll probably dish up annoying sass like that cheeky Rosie from The Jetsons. Shut up and do your job! You’re a robot!… Sorry.

To give you an idea how raw this sore spot gets, check this out. A family friend came over a few weeks ago. She’s a nice old lady. My wife was telling her how long it’s been since she’s had a real vacation. The old lady turned to me and asked about my last vacation, then waved her hand, dismissing her own question by saying, “Oh, you’re home all day. Every day is a vacation.” At that moment, I came criminally close to punching a nice old lady in the throat.

Here’s the kicker: Men handle stress differently than women. I’ve written before that I honestly believe women are biologically better prepared to deal with this kind of stuff. Or maybe that’s just my excuse for spending the first three months of my sons’ life muttering to myself as I hugged my knees and rocked back in forth in the corner of our darkened bathroom.

As a stay-at-home father, you must have coping mechanisms in place to deal with stress. If you don’t, figure them out fast. Don’t expect anyone to understand the way you deal with it or why you would even need to. It will only lead to more stress. Learning to work out the inherent stress in your day will make you a better parent and, yes, make your kids better kids. Just remember there are no wrong answers. Well, except locking your baby in the garage for an hour. That’s a wrong answer.