A lot of our friends up north joined the local Elks Lodge. Seriously, almost all of them are now members. Once word caught on that they had a bar and a pool, everyone rushed to join. You might say it was a stampede. Eh? Right?… Ahem. Sorry.

The fact that the Benevolent & Protective Order of the Elks betters local communities by helping the blind and disabled probably factored less into our friends’ decision to join than the lodge’s $2 beers, Chicken Fried Steak Thursdays and the sizable hot tub. I’m sure the Elks love all the new blood but, apparently, the place is starting to look like the MTV Beach House.

That said, while my wife and I have been up here on vacation, we’ve been a guest at the lodge more days than not. And yes, I have enjoyed my fair share of $2 beers. So many, in fact, one breezy afternoon I decided I would join an Elks Lodge down in L.A. upon my return. “Normalcy be damned!” I cried. “I will be an Elk! Now, can someone hit the button to turn on the hot tub jets?”

I’m telling you this because the boys, too, have enjoyed the Elks Lodge — specifically, a shady spot under a tree near the pool. But today, they actually went in the baby pool. I held Wyatt and our friend and Benevolent Elk Glen held Boone. Like their afternoon in the little inflatable pool, they splashed a lot. They’re great at it. I’m telling you, if splashing was an Olympic sport, my boys would be motherfucking Michael Phelps.

The day did not continue so smoothly, however. Wyatt is teething again. That means he is not only suffering random bouts of mouth pain, but he has trouble sleeping, too. Plus, we accidentally overshot the boys’ lunchtime. So, we ended our trip to the Elks Lodge with Wyatt feeling uncomfortable, tired and hungry. It was a supernova of baby crankiness.

I expect Wyatt will hold this day against us until his new teeth come in. Then, he’ll just bite us. I’ll need something to distract him, something else he could bite out of anger… maybe I could interest him in Chicken Fried Steak Thursdays.