From The Daddy Complex Archives: Van, Go

I saw a commercial recently in which a real live customer (not an actor!) explains why she bought a compact SUV or something. One of her reasons was because she would never be caught dead in a minivan. Those weren’t her words, but it was definitely her implication. It made me think of this post from last year in which I basically take a big dump on that way of thinking.

thedaddycomplex:

I clearly have a gene missing because this article in the New York Times (via @parentsmagazine), which is all about removing the stigma of the minivan, makes no sense to me. Or rather, the fact that it had to be written makes no sense to me. Or rather, the fact that minivans have a stigma makes no sense to me.

This caught my attention because we’re currently in the market for a minivan. We’ve loved our little Passat Wagon, but the boys are getting too big to safely get them in and out in busy areas (and in L.A., every place is a busy area). Plus as they grow, we’ve become much more of a traveling circus and it’ll only get bigger: sports equipment, art tables, busted bikes, camping supplies and all the other things that come with childhood. But, according to the article, parents typically won’t buy minivans because said parents don’t want to be seen as uncool.

Here’s what I care about in a vehicle purchase:

Safety for my family

Ease of travel (getting in and out, able to pack a lot of stuff, room for our dog, etc.)

Mileage and how it affects my carbon footprint

Here’s what I don’t care about:

If the lady doing 35mph in the fast lane thinks I’m uncool

If the teen that parked too close to the shopping cart return thinks I’m uncool

If the teller with the neatly manicured nails at the bank’s drive-up window thinks I’m uncool

Glee (sorry, people)

The story goes on to say parents have latched on to a phrase — “swagger wagon” — used in one minivan commercial to counter the stigma and reclaim their hipness or whatever. Seriously, calm down. It’s not a “swagger wagon.” It’s a van. It’s not a symbol or a chink in your cool exterior. It’s a van. It’s not what represents you. No, what represents you is sitting safely buckled in the backseat. Of your van.

Jesus, people.

I mean really.