The Daddy Complex

Hey, here’s a clip from the upcoming film People Like Us. It’s one of the flicks we’re seeing as part of this Brave Cars Land Event.

Based on a true story, the film tells the story of fast-talking salesman Sam, who is tasked with fulfilling his estranged father’s last wishes — delivering an inheritance to a sister he never knew he had. Looks quite charming. And it stars Elizabeth Banks and Captain Kirk… uh, I mean Chris Pine.

For those of you outside the Southern California area, the restaurant they’re at in this clip is Neptune’s Net, which is a great little seafood dive in Malibu.

As a work-at-home dad when the boys were still infants, I was totally frazzled as you can imagine. On one of the first days I was able to get away for some personal time, I went swimming in Malibu, then drove up the coast to Neptune’s Net.

Since you seem to always be blogging, writing multiple entires a day, or writing a movie or a play or a tv episode or attending fancy events, when do you find time to do any actual parenting?

Asked by Anonymous

You forgot about my puppet show.

Asking “when do you find time to parent” is like me asking you “how do you schedule your breathing?”

Parenting is not something you make time to do. It’s going on all the time. When I blog, I’m a parent. When I write, I’m a parent. When I edit video, I’m a parent. Besides, even if I wanted to neglect my children, I couldn’t. There are two of them, after all.

“Parenting” is simply the verb to describe living your life after kids. 

So, now that I’ve cleared that up, the short answer to you question is: I bust my ass.

I only write after the boys have gone to sleep so, even though they’re pretty good sleepers, I only get around five hours of sleep per night. Sometimes less. Lately, a lot less.

And what fancy events are you talking about? I haven’t been to a fancy event in eons because I don’t get invited to anything.

I'm about to have my first baby, a son. My husband is recent veteran who is attending college full time and is struggling to find a job. He is going to be a stay-at-home dad while I'll be going back to work as soon as the doctor clears me. How do I support him without making him feel like I'm emasculating him or "hovering"? Got any ideas?

Asked by double-d

Firstly, congratulations!

Secondly, you’ll be able to test a theory of mine. I say, “With the exception of boot camp and serving in battle, caring for a baby is the hardest thing you will ever do.” But, I’ve never been in boot camp unless you count that half-week thing I did at a gym in West Hollywood where I blew out my knees on the treadmill.

Thirdly, this is a weird question because I don’t look at my wife jumping in as emasculating. I emasculate myself just fine without anyone’s help, thank you very much.

You know his boundaries. If he’s easily aggravated by offers to help, give him some space. And rather than asking if he needs assistance, make it a statement — “I’m here if you need anything.” That subtle tweak will allow him to make the decision when and if he needs you to jump in.

That said, the best thing you can do to help is give him breaks. When I was a work-at-home dad, the occasional breaks (even just to walk around the block by myself) did wonders.