December 2010
58 posts
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ekrepcho asked: What are your traditions for New Year's eve? Do you guys get a sitter and head out for a night on the town, or stay at home and get the boys in bed at their normal bedtime? We had to get creative once we had Indy, I was curious what you guys do to ring in the New Year!
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elishaa5 asked: Wow! Your last blog Daddy Complex-ism was great! I hope you haven't been getting any hate mail yourself! I enjoy reading your posts immensely! They always have me laughing and no, you are not the only one that wants to go postal when your toddler won't sit down to eat! It's hard work to be a parent. And it's even harder to try to be a "good" parent! No one is perfect....
elishaa5 asked: Wow! Your last blog Daddy Complex-ism was great! I hope you haven't been getting any hate mail yourself! I enjoy reading your posts immensely! They always have me laughing and no, you are not the only one that wants to go postal when your toddler won't sit down to eat! It's hard work to be a parent. And it's even harder to try to be a "good" parent! No one is perfect....
ekrepcho asked: What are your traditions for New Year's eve? Do you guys get a sitter and head out for a night on the town, or stay at home and get the boys in bed at their normal bedtime? We had to get creative once we had Indy, I was curious what you guys do to ring in the New Year!
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The Daddy Complex-ism
Don’t assume your experience or view is universal.
(Forgive me, but this is going to start out a little graphic.) Once when I was a teen, my friends and I were hanging out, doing what teen boys do — making masturbation jokes. One of my friends chimed in with, “Don’t you guys hate that ring of hair around the middle of your dick?” It stopped us all. We weren’t sure we...
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My Superpower Revealed
I realized something over the weekend about myself. My reactions are reversed. When there’s some major crisis, I react calmly and thoughtfully. When it’s a minor problem, I usually ramp up. Here are examples of each.
Major: I recounted this story once before, but here’s the Cliffs Notes version. When the boys were wee — less than a year old — Wyatt started choking on a pea or...
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bestnatesmithever asked: Too lazy to check if you are already a fan. You probably aren't because you are a big jerk. But I guess you are rectifying that. http://www.facebook.com/pages/Improvising-Fatherhood/402235020045
bestnatesmithever asked: Too lazy to check if you are already a fan. You probably aren't because you are a big jerk. But I guess you are rectifying that. http://www.facebook.com/pages/Improvising-Fatherhood/402235020045
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I'll Be Your Fan
Hey, parenting bloggers. Does your mommy or daddy blog have a Facebook fan page? If so, let me know. I will totally add it to The Daddy Complex fan page favorites. Send me a link via email, the Tumblr ask feature or set alight the Grail-shaped beacon.
December 28, 2010.
feelingfeisty:
^Remy’s birthday
Gonna have a baby tomorrow. NBD.
It’s about time you kicked that freeloader out of the womb… Oh, and congratulations in advance, Jess.
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Potty Humor
Wyatt: Hey, old man. I have to pee.
Me: Okay, let's go to the potty... Hold on. You're wet.
Wyatt: Yeah.
Me: You're supposed to tell me before you pee.
Boone: Well, that's splitting hairs.
Me: No, it's not. It's the whole point. Pee-pee goes in the potty.
Wyatt: Do I get to flush it? Flushing is fun.
Me: There's nothing to flush. You didn't pee in the potty.
Boone: Dude, flushing is the reward. How are we supposed to learn to do it if you don't offer us some kind of incentive?
Me: You pee-pee in the potty, then you get to flush it. That's how it works.
Wyatt: Seems pretty complicated.
Boone: Yeah, dude. Next you'll be asking us to solve a calculus problem or something.
Me: Guys, it's not that hard. When you have to pee, sit on the potty and pee.
Wyatt: But poop goes anywhere?
Me: No, poop goes in the potty, too.
Wyatt: You're making this up.
Me: I'm not. That's what you're supposed to do.
Boone: So, from now on, both pee-pee and poop go in the potty.
Me: Right.
Boone: Got it. Wish I'd known that before I pooped on the floor.
Me: Dude...
Boone: Watch your step.
Wyatt: Ooh, can I flush it?
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When Nature Calls
For the boys’ birthday, one of their grandparents bought them two stunningly beautiful nature pop-up books. One features nocturnal creatures from all over North America. (Owls! Wolves! Bats! Alligators!) The other shows different types of birds. (Macaws! Herons! Cardinals! Mallards!) Both books come with a little chip that plays the sounds of the wild for each page. So, when you open the...
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jlfloyd-deactivated20111009 asked: I'm new to Tumblr and just came across you. So far, I'm enjoying what I've read. What made you start blogging? And what had been you proudest daddy moment so far?
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Nudist Party 3: Revenge Of The Sith
I drove up to our beach house last night, so I’m now participating in the potty training. Here’s an update:
Once again proving that, just because they’re twins, they aren’t anything alike, Boone turned out to be one of those toddlers who gets it in two days. We let him run around totally nude this morning and he would occasionally say “Potty.” Every time he...
jlfloyd-deactivated20111009 asked: I'm new to Tumblr and just came across you. So far, I'm enjoying what I've read. What made you start blogging? And what had been you proudest daddy moment so far?
Third Time's A Charm
How did I miss this? Congrats to Melissa of Mammalingo who welcomed boy number three into her family just days ago. Awesome, awesome news.
Hey, Melissa. Only two more and you’ve got a basketball team.
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The Newest Issue - Holiday Sahmmy.com is Up!!! →
thesahmmy:
As always, I tell my Tumblbuddies first….
You might recognize some of our favorite people, The Daddy Complex, MommyofMonsters, Spellman and Mammalingo all share their talents along with the Sahmmy bloggin’ crew.
Enjoy!
My “How To Hang Out With Your Friends And Their Baby” flyer is featured at the very funny Sahmmy.com. (The titular S@HMmy, Jeris, is also known by the...
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Baby New Year and SIDS →
babygrrllabs:
In sad holiday-related news, a new study in the journal Addiction reports that the number of babies who die of SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome) surges by 33 percent on New Year’s Day, according to ScienceDaily. The study links the rise in the number of deaths to alcohol consumption by caretakers on New Year’s Eve.
Click headline for full story at Parenting.com. It’s a...
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Nudist Party 2: Electric Boogaloo
cocoageek replied to my last post with this nugget…
Not to curb your enthusiasm, but potty training takes MONTHS … that’s a lot of nudist parties to be thrown. Not to mention the risk of “accidents” on the sofa, carpet, furniture …
Thanks for the reality check. I didn’t mean to imply the boys would be fully trained by the time I return tomorrow night. In fact, boys typically take...
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Nudist Party
While my wife is up north with the boys, she’s decided to take on the brave task of potty training them. Her logic is sound: She’s with them all day while she’s on vacation; and our house up there has hardwood floors, which makes for easy clean-up of pee-pee and the more dreaded poopy. The training technique she’s using, which I believe is pretty standard goes thusly.
...
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Click If You Likey →
If you dig what you find here, please recommend The Daddy Complex. And if you don’t recommend this site, definitely recommend any of the other fantastic parenting Tumblrs out there. Thanks a heap. You guys are all the most awesomest ever… I mean it. No, really. I do… No, you stop.
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Running On Empty
Wyatt: "Running."
Me: What?
Wyatt: "Up. Up. Running."
Me: Not now, Wyatt. I'm tired.
Wyatt: Come on. I'm using my words and being all cute.
Boone: That's true. It was cute.
Me: I don't understand what's so great about running around the house.
Boone: Are you kidding?
Wyatt: Yeah, dude. Have you tried it?
Me: Yes, you make me do it all the time. We just run in circles. Hallway, dining room, living room, hallway, dining room, living room—
Boone: I know. It's awesome.
Wyatt: So totally awesome.
Me: If it's so awesome, why don't you guys just run on your own?
Wyatt: You have to chase us.
Me: Boone can chase you.
Boone: I don't want to chase him.
Wyatt: And I don't want him to chase me.
Boone: Yeah... Wait. Why not?
Me: Guys, I've had a long day. I just want to sit.
Boone: Look, old man. Playing with us helps us build a stronger relationship with you, encourages us to be active and even spurs our imagination, which helps develop other skills over time such as critical thinking and understanding abstract concepts.
Wyatt: Besides, we're asking you to play with us, not get a colonoscopy. Who doesn't want to play?
Me: ...You guys are pretty rad.
Wyatt: I know.
Me: That's why I'm going to CHASE YOU!
Boone: Yikes! Run, bro!
Wyatt: AAAAAAH!
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Kid-less Papa
My wife works in the music business. I may have mentioned that before. Anyway, for those of you outside California, what you might not know is Los Angeles basically shuts down for the month of December. Half the population leaves to either visit family or, in the case of most studio execs, go on a 30-day sexual tourism trip of Thailand.
Almost no business happens. This coupled with some vacation...
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Behind Closed Doors
When my wife picked up the boys from preschool the other day, one of the teachers said to her, “Wyatt and Boone are so polite and it’s so cute when they run across the room and hug each other.” To this my wife replied, “They what now?”
Apparently, my boys are incredibly courteous at school. They say please and thank you. They play well with others, love to share and,...
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Behind Closed Doors
When my wife picked up the boys from preschool the other day, one of the teachers said to her, “Wyatt and Boone are so polite and it’s so cute when they run across the room and hug each other.” To this my wife replied, “They what now?”
Apparently, my boys are incredibly courteous at school. They say please and thank you. They play well with others, love to share and,...
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Have My Cake And Eat It, Too
A few nights ago, Wyatt was throwing a fit during dinner. It’s an offshoot of his new Mommy Phase thing. So, I asked my wife to leave the room. Once she was gone, Wyatt freaked out for a bit, but eventually calmed down. He still wouldn’t eat, but he at least politely said, “All finished,” which is what he says when he’s actually finished or doesn’t want to eat.
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Recommend The Daddy Complex →
One time, my friend was all, “Dude,” and I was all, “Man.” But, then later, we were both like, “Bro?” So recommend The Daddy Complex for the Tumblr directory. Thank you.
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shits-and-giggles asked: Do your boys really talk like that? They sound like grown adults more than toddlers! It cracks me up to read the conversations you have with them.
shits-and-giggles asked: Do your boys really talk like that? They sound like grown adults more than toddlers! It cracks me up to read the conversations you have with them.
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Apology Accepted
Me: You want to read the Elmo book?
Wyatt: Sure... Hey, where's Boone?
Me: He's in the Naughty Spot.
Wyatt: He's at a strip club?
Me: No, the Naughty Spot. Like a time out.
Wyatt: That's a terrible name. Can we just call it a time out?
Me: Fine.
Wyatt: Why is he in a time out?
Me: Because he bit you. You don't remember? It just happened like ten seconds ago.
Wyatt: I remember, but I'm over it.
Me: Well, I'm not. He needs to sit there and think about what he did.
Wyatt: You realize he's probably not thinking about what he did. He's probably just pissed off that he can't be out here reading the Elmo book with us.
Me: It doesn't matter. He's experiencing the consequence of his actions.
Wyatt: But, he's only learning that it's wrong, not why it's wrong.
Me: That comes in time.
Wyatt: How?
Me: I don't know.
Wyatt: Dude.
Me: What? I'm not a behavioral psychologist. I just know he needs to be punished, so that's what's happening.
Wyatt: You need to do more than just put him in another room. You have to explain to him why it's wrong. Most importantly, you need to tell him to apologize.
Me: You guys think "apologize" is a type of vegetable.
Wyatt: We'll learn that when we apologize, we make the other person feel better. That's what will help us understand why it's wrong and how to make the right decision in the future.
Me: Wow. That sounds logical.
Wyatt: What's not logical is why I've ripped the Elmo book to shreds while we've been talking.
Me: Hey! I told you to stop doing that. You get a time out. Now!
Wyatt: Okay. While I'm there, you try and work out how I'm supposed to apologize to a book.
Me: Oh... uh... right...
Wyatt: Have fun with that.
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If you Didn't See it...
I announced the winner of the “Best Post” giveaway last night, but some of you may not have seen it. Because, y’know, it was late and all. If you want to know, click here.
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About That Book Giveaway...
I have to post the winner tonight. Still going through submissions. Sorry for the delay. In the meantime, here’s a grainy picture of Boone playing the accordion.
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I taught my boys a valuable lesson last night: Unleashing a string of every known expletive is the appropriate reaction to raking a bread knife across your finger.
In related news, my boys now sound like Lenny Bruce.
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I mentioned once that the boys’ preschool gives daily reports on their activities and other things. Today’s reports ended with the most terrifying phrase a parent could ever read:
“He really enjoyed karate class!”
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...And I Mean It
Stern warnings I have said to my boys in the heat of the moment that make little to no sense or, at the very least, are wildly inarticulate:
“Eat it or don’t eat it, but don’t play with it.”
“I’m not just talking to hear myself think.”
”Let him have his turn or I’m taking it away.”
“If you’re going to fall, aim for the...
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Get A Little, Give A Little
HOORAY! It’s time for another giveaway contest! I know. It’s so good, it’s like proof that unicorns exists.
For this one, all you need to do is email me a link to your best parenting or pregnancy post. I don’t care if it’s a story, a tweet, a photo, an audio clip of your child farting — anything goes. (I realize this may rule out any readers who don’t have some...
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Did You Hear? (An IM Conversation)
Wife: Did you hear about Elizabeth Edwards?
Me: Yeah. Sad.
Wife: Right.
Me: Did you hear about Jackie Chan?
Wife: No...
Me: He's awesome.
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Dad The Asshole, Part 2: Not So Assholey
Wow. I’ve already received a slew of notes saying what I described in my last post isn’t “being an asshole,” but rather “being a parent.” Awesome. Thanks. I’ll make sure Wyatt knows that.
It just feels like an asshole move because I’m sitting there letting him (Wyatt or Boone or both) cry, which goes against everything I want to do. I want to hug...
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Dad The Asshole
As with most toddlers, mealtime is a struggle at our house. Specifically, our problem is getting both boys to the table for their meals and keeping them there until we’re all done. And before you suggest it, my wife didn’t like my idea to duct tape them to the chairs.
Other than the annoyance factor, I guess it doesn’t really matter if they sit still for dinner, but breakfast is...
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