July 2009
4 posts
5 tags
Going Green, And I Mean Poop
My wife and I had lofty ideas about how we would raise our babies. We knew they were lofty, but we went ahead and had those ideas anyway. We weren’t always on the same page. My plan to use cat-training techniques didn’t sit well with the wife, but it turns out spraying water in a baby’s face only makes them cry more anyway.
One of the lofty ideas to which we swore we would adhere was using...
2 tags
You Can Lead A Horse To Polo...
Just a few days ago, we took the boys on their first picnic. We went to Will Rogers State Park and set up under a shady tree. We had a little concoction of my own invention — brown rice, sausage, carrots, peas, a touch of feta cheese — and some wine. I think my wife and I got the better meal, but I can’t say for sure. I’ve never had puréed squash.
While we were there, a polo game...
1 tag
Dinner To-Go
Last night, while I was feeding the boys dinner, Boone forcibly ejected the spoonful of food I’d just given him. All over me. It was like puréed carrot bukkake.
Even as a new parent, I knew things like this would happen. I’ve seen a greeting card or two in my day. You know, the ones with the precocious lad covered in spaghetti on the front. What you can assume is that there’s a mother or father...
2 tags
Things That Go Bat-Shit In The Night
My boys, Wyatt and Boone, just turned 8 months. They are finally sleeping through the night fairly regularly, except for the nights when their teeth really bother them. And last night, Boone let loose such a deluge of piss that he drenched himself and woke up none too happy about it. The way he was crying, I’m sure our neighbors thought we were trying to set him on fire. I tried to explain to him...