I read all about how you dealt with your sons toddler years, but now that I have one I can't remember anything besides whiskey. Any advice on how to stay sane besides whiskey? More whiskey? I just. Nope. So pretty when she sleeps.
Just do whatever gets your through. But, always—ALWAYS—make time for yourself. Make sure to call in favors or whatever you need to carve out some opportunities for you to go see a movie, go on a date, have an adult conversation, sleep or whatever helps you.
It’s not selfish. It’s vital to your health and the health of your kid.
My wife's dad and stepmother are wickedly inconsiderate, pushy, self-centered, and by far the most dysfunctional people I've ever known. My wife and I don't want the step-mother's influence near our toddler because she gets her kicks from different varieties of manipulation (the children they have together all have issues as well), and her dad chooses to ignore this problem. Without starting WWIII, how do we approach creating barriers when reasoning with them has so far proven to be futile?
I’ve said before, I’m a big fan of speaking to adults like adults and, if they can’t handle that, that’s their problem. So, if you know WWIII is a possibility, I guess just prepare for WWIII and have the hard conversation. And if discussing barriers hasn’t worked before, maybe do that whole shock-and-awe thing by not allowing them to be around your kid until the behavior changes.
Because, as I said in the linked post above, your baby is more important than the resulting awkward silence during Thanksgiving dinner.
Ok, so I've got a question... Which follows on from my previous statement... Question 1. "So, how were the galaxies made?" Question 2. "How did the trees grow if there weren't any trees?" Your target audience is a girl who has just turned 5.
I was never great at science, but I believe the answer to both is…
Creepy bathroom rabbit is creepy, just saying. Have you come up with a sequel stroke of brilliance to the CTFD method yet? Hollywood movie deal? Oh also, more serious question: how do you balance out your social media time with "real life" time. I know my balance is not always perfect between the two.
I think the biggest mistake I could make is to try to replicate the success of CTFD. Because I didn’t expect that to go bonkers like it did, so I’d be attempting to repeat something I basically had no control over.
No, I’m just going to keep doing what I do, which is post things that make me laugh and assume at least a few others find it funny, too.
And I don’t know what “balance” is. Is that some sort of quinoa recipe?
Again... Not a question... I'm all about the statements.... I enjoyed your news video. You have the same gaze that I get when trying to explain tricky topics to my 5 year old. It's as if I am trying to pull the words from the air. I recently had to answer the question "how did monkeys turn into humans?" There were some intense air gazes that day. The soundtrack to the conversation was by Pearl Jam. Evolution baby!
According to a sleep deprivation study conducted by the University of Pennsylvania, after two weeks of getting only 6 hours of sleep per night (or less), you experience the cognitive equivalent of being legally drunk.
Please help! Mom of 2 boys ages 5 and one month shy of 4. 4 yo refuses potty. We've offered the world, candy, games, disneyland...He just won't go! Do I back off? He needs to be trained for preschool! Sincerely, wiping butts for 5 years now.
Oh, man. Everyone has advice about this and, when that’s the case, it usually means there is no single magic solution.
That said, boys typically take longer to get the hang of potty training than girls. So, take comfort in that. Still, rather than offering things, I suggest finding what he responds to the most and stick with that tactic, even if it skews toward being stern with him.
Though it shouldn’t turn into a shouting match, you can just tell him it has to be done, no matter what. One article I found compared it to learning how to use eating utensils: It’s not a choice, they simply have to do it.
I know the looming preschool deadline might freak you out, but it’s about him right now—not you, not his preschool. Be patient. And for any potential messes, invest in whatever household cleaner you prefer.
Hi David, read your blog and HowToBeADad every morning instead of working. I'm father to a 13 month old boy and love him with a fire that burns deep inside my soul. My wife is staying home with him until we get the yellow light from our savings. Naturally, he has bonded with her in a way that he and I haven't, and I find that he tends to avoid me when she and I are in the same room together. My question is this: How can I change this and carry more favor with him?
Bribe him with candy?
Seriously, though, give it time. Babies naturally bond with the person they see the most. Soon, however, you’ll see him enjoying your company as well.
And soon after that, you’ll be begging for some time to yourself.
Potty talk? Ignore it, discourage it, forbid it, or just isn't an issue with your five year old boys?
I tell them there’s a time and a place for it and, generally, they don’t know either of those things, so it’s best to stop using it. We both tell them they’ll start to understand when it’s okay as they get older.
That said, some of our best bedtime stories involve lots of farts.
Me:Let's try something new today. If you ask for something and someone—me, your mom, your teacher—says no, ask why first. Get more information. Because there's always a reason and it might keep you from flipping out.
Wyatt:Okay, let's try it now. Papa, can I have ice cream for breakfast?
My 21 month old will not stop biting, hitting or throwing things. We've tried talking to him, sitting him in time out, distraction, yelling and most recently banishment (sat in a closed off area of the house to calm down) but he's right back to the act as soon as he's out of punishment! Any advice?
As always, my first piece of advice is generally: Don’t take my advice.
But, if you were to ignore that, I’d say the key is consistency.
Pick one of the many things you’ve listed up there and stick with it. If, say, you put him in a time out (though 21 months might be a tad young for that to have any effect, just FYI) and he resumes the behavior as soon as he’s free, put him right back in.
All that said, experts say positive reinforcement tends to work better with kids in your son’s age range. So, rather than punish him for biting, reward him for the other things he does. And that reward can be as simple as a laugh or a “Yay!” Not something grandiose, however, like a vacation home in Fiji.
Those same experts also say a rigid daily schedule could help ease his frustration, etc.—things that tend to manifest as biting. So, if he’s not on a regular nap and meal schedule, get him on one.
If all that fails, that Hannibal Lecter mask might be a good Plan C.
This is episode thirteen and a half because apparently 13 is an unlucky number. Today we talk to screenwriter, blogger at thedaddycomplex.com and soon to be author of the CTFD Parenting Method book, David Vienna. We get in to his thoughts on creativity, why he thought puppets would be a viral hit and what it […]
I don’t always blather, but when I do, I make sure it’s recorded.
[This is the same interview I did with Chris Read (aka Canadian Dad) a little while ago. It was just reposted on the Life of Dad site, so I thought I’d link it ICYMI.]
Tonight, my son fell asleep next to me. I chose to ignore the pain in the world for an hour and disconnected myself from everything. Just listened to him breathe. There are parents out there who won’t get to hear their children breathe tonight, much less go to college or speak out. Keep them alive in your hearts by paying attention to what is happening in this world. It’s a rough moment to be alive. Even the funniest man on earth couldn’t find joy in it this week. Let’s find a reason to love.
My sister wrote about Robin Williams and our mother’s own battle with depression and bipolar disorder for her magazine, JUF News. I’m sharing the link. And, if you struggle with this illness or love someone who does, you are not alone.
dearest daddycomplex, we're not really friends-i mean, we don't chat very often-or at all. we run in a similar circle, i suppose, and we both live in L.A., so there's that. still, on this, what i've decided should be a #dayoflove, i'm sending some your way. why? because i think you're funny and smart and an unbelievably good partner and parent-not one of those things is easy to be! thanks for sharing your family and your world-view and for mining all the love & humor you can out of everyday!
Holy crap, not-the-mom, you just made me weepy. Thanks for the kind words.
And #dayoflove sound like an amazing idea! I’m going to pay it forward and go spread some love all over someone’s inbox right now.